I received one of the most uncomfortable phone calls I have ever got. I was asked to share my story as a single mom… on video… for thousands of people to see! My immediate respond was of course, “I’ll get back to you” which is code for
“nah, Hell Nah!”
I agonized over the facts the whole week, it came the day where I would have to give a definite answer (because people just don’t know how to read code anymore) but I got a pep talk from my friend instead.
She said something like: “do you know how much I look up to you?” and continue to give me a speech about how many people on the verge of breaking are waiting to hear my story to encourage them…. yadi yadi yadah
And she was right!
God did not bring me this far, just for me.
He didn’t just work out all things for my good just for me.
I didn’t go through all that mess just for the heck of it.
There’s a purpose to it, and I need to allow Him to bless someone else with it.
I still feel like I have to hide my crap, I don’t want people to know how low I got, and how broken I’ve been. I want to make small talk about my hair, my shoes, how pretty I look and stay away from anything deep or remotely personal.
I don’t like personal!
I don’t want to feel naked and vulnerable, I don’t want those look of “OMG I had no idea you went through that…” I’m so sorry!
But all the stuff “I” don’t want start with “I”
It comes a time where it is not about “me” anymore. Someone somewhere is waiting for those 3 little words: “it gets better!”
They’re waiting to hear something like:
The brokenness is not forever, the depression fades, the hurting will stop and the tears will become happy tears!
It’s not over, your best days are still ahead.
They’re waiting for a word of hope.
And that word only comes from the testimony of those who have been through and made it through.
I went ahead and shared, I hated it. It was a complete shove out of my comfort zone but it was good to hear.
It was good to be reminded of how far God has brought me from. If I made it through this I can make it through anything.
Nothing is wasted!
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